the last day with 18th title !

Today yes, for sure 21th of April 2010. Tomorrow im going to 19th. It means closer with my real life, an adult life. Feel scary? yes, absolutely! But, honestly, now i feel lonely. I feel like many things rush me. It's really privat, i cannot tell here. Maybe if we find great times, i can share it for you. 

Now, i'm in my kost room alone. My roommate doesn't come back, for the practice or the lecturer. Today i have only one class in the afternoon, so i didn't meet my friends enough. I think something wrong with my body. I feel not comfortable, but my body is not cold or headache. I think i feel like worried. Worried about my life, my mother, my brother, and everything. 

I haven't arrange a resolution in my 19th bday tomorrow. I think, i just want to be a better person. Be when my friends needing me. Study harder to collect a good marks, be a great sister for my brother, and be what my mother wants. She is my everything, i always worried abot her. Everyday, because she is not close with me again. I cannot see her face everyday. I always miss her, really. Maybe tomorrow is the first day i celebrate my bday without kisses from my beloved muti (its deutchs). Uhhh so bad..

Let's we flash back to a year before. When i had my 18th birthday. I remembered, my muti is forget my birthday because i'm going to school earlier when she was not wake up already. I went to school without a birthday wishes from my mom. I felt sad, but it's okay because she is not really waked up. But, actually she remembered. She sent me a birthday sms. Yeah, i can said that i'm not really happy, but yes that's enough. hehe. She is a very busy mother who i have known. She must arranging everything such as our family, my brother, and also her job. I wish my father was here. It much better definetely. but, i know, it won't. 
I got a birthday surprised from my beloved juniors, aka my little sisters. Mendy and Geni, their really sweet. Also birthday wishes from TEGAR! 

But, tomorrow? hmmm i'm far from everything.. 
Thanks God for give me everything!